meeting up with serene today was good! had dinner with her at our usual wanton noodle stall with bubble tea. -smiles- then we just walked around and then prayed before going home. it was really really good. (: meeting up with huizhi and gracia for lunch tmr and then friday, its the school peepos.. i miss my whole class alrdy!

so i guess, today i finally know the answer. why do i feel the same tinge of sadness that i felt three years ago, but by a totally different person this time round? they said it was probably brotherly love but i always wish you were more than a brother to me. but i guess to you, ill always be someone like a sister to you. i knew i messed things up that day. and i wonder if we'll still be close friends but everything just felt different. and it doesnt make things easier that you're YOU. i know that you'll always be there for me, but i dont think you believe that i could be there for you too and the feeling just dont feel good because i keep telling you how i feel and you dont. its like a one way traffic. but i guess today, now, i know. i assume and think too much again. and the feeling that i felt three years ago came back and it makes me wanna cry because i told myself i dont ever wanna feel like that ever again. continue hiding if you think you're good at it and if you think you dont make me feel sad. cause i think im pulling out because i dont wanna be a stumbling block to you.

okay, enough of emokid89@hotmail.com -breathes in and out- im going to be okay. yup. i know in good hands because i have a father who loves me more than anyone else in this world. (but for now i just feel like crying)